tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post6758508048986435177..comments2022-07-28T00:53:17.738-07:00Comments on Opinionated, Baby: Mother's Day Confessions - Loving "Being Mom" vs. Loving Your Kidshayleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-55295900498769957832013-05-31T17:23:15.590-07:002013-05-31T17:23:15.590-07:00Wow. I never thought anyone would think the same w...Wow. I never thought anyone would think the same way as me. The line about if this were a romantic relationship I would have left by now. And I was a stable person before kids. I am the resident a-hole- all me to a T. <br />Since becoming a mother I now drink coffee, wine, take anti depressants and the occasional anti anxiety medication. As someone told me once, we can't medicate our kids so we medicate ourselves. <br />I hope I don't sound off the wall telling this. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-23807255923508182722013-05-30T18:53:16.908-07:002013-05-30T18:53:16.908-07:00Thank you thank you thank you....I Love my kids bu...Thank you thank you thank you....I Love my kids but sometimes it is the act of mothering that I struggle to love. Thank you for putting it into words for me....<br />CathyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-12737908767610327792013-05-23T09:12:55.085-07:002013-05-23T09:12:55.085-07:00Thank you for being the one to say it. We all sit...Thank you for being the one to say it. We all sit around thinking that every other mom is perfect and wishing that someone would show "weakness" first so that we can all admit it too. My kids are teenagers now. It's easier to admit to people you don't like being a mom to teenagers. Bless you for writing this! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-23487082507928539132013-05-23T08:13:07.829-07:002013-05-23T08:13:07.829-07:00Well said!Well said!hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-31195461705087432222013-05-22T13:56:22.463-07:002013-05-22T13:56:22.463-07:00I think you wrote this about me. Thank you. I think you wrote this about me. Thank you. Allison Friesenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16746989541521804390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-31960702529323911902013-05-20T18:18:24.087-07:002013-05-20T18:18:24.087-07:00Great post, Hayley. I really resonnate with a lot...Great post, Hayley. I really resonnate with a lot of this. I now struggle with angry outbursts at my children, something I certainly never struggled with before I had kids, and I attribute a lot of it to my control-freakiness. The worst part is wrecking their moods through my mood. I can't stand it when my anger leads to their emotional breakdown. Having young kids is way harder than I ever imagined. Anyways, I appreciate your post, and I prayfully hope that Christ-in-me will continue to refine me into a better mom. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-33895562028827907992013-05-17T10:13:05.562-07:002013-05-17T10:13:05.562-07:00thank goodness for the squeezy bums! martinis all ...thank goodness for the squeezy bums! martinis all around!hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-73145608456571928702013-05-17T05:35:38.391-07:002013-05-17T05:35:38.391-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-66261585638336234712013-05-16T20:20:53.064-07:002013-05-16T20:20:53.064-07:00Loved this, Hayley!!
I am always thinking about wh...Loved this, Hayley!!<br />I am always thinking about what my kids will remember, too!Karenhttps://www.facebook.com/karenennema?ref=tn_tnmnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-23427804049123632152013-05-16T12:45:52.119-07:002013-05-16T12:45:52.119-07:00A million times, thank you.A million times, thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-22378540344035076862013-05-16T12:19:11.144-07:002013-05-16T12:19:11.144-07:00Can we please have a martini and be friends? :). ...Can we please have a martini and be friends? :). I call those women "Pinterest Moms". I'm happy that they are able to find their joy in being a Mom and admire their joyfulness (although I'll never understand their ability to endure hours of playgroups with other people's kids...I can bearly handly my own). I'm attempting to reconcile what I was taught as a child (that women exist to be wives and mothers...and nothing else) with my lack of satisfaction in these roles most of the time. I see those scenic views once in a while (the squeezy bums :), but most of the time I'm the climber digging my nails in, putting my head down and every so often stopping to throw a fit (as per my 20month old). Thanks for the post! <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-48686353401376384112013-05-16T09:53:29.196-07:002013-05-16T09:53:29.196-07:00i'm thankful that we can all share these fears...i'm thankful that we can all share these fears and disappointments with each other and find strength in that. i pray your household finds peace!hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-25662895397969271032013-05-16T06:40:33.015-07:002013-05-16T06:40:33.015-07:00Hayley,
this is so what I needed right now, dealin...Hayley,<br />this is so what I needed right now, dealing with tired kids that grow, eat, fight, argue.. <br />Dealing with a child on the brink of being diagnosed with Aspbergers..<br />Dealing with bullies from school, but that do the bullying right outside our own door. It's been a hard week of facing my own dislikes, fears, and feelings of being inadequate to support my kids the way they need. yet still, they smile, can't get enough snuggles and hugs and kisses.. <br /><br />Oh, how blessed we are, Hayley!Kimnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-33751496519422091322013-05-16T06:23:15.327-07:002013-05-16T06:23:15.327-07:00i know the feeling of your children being better o...i know the feeling of your children being better off with someone else, someone happier or more "together". but they love us despite these failures, and we are the best parent for our child (in most cases). they show us so much more grace than we show ourselves.hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-24171932821637338262013-05-16T04:54:21.543-07:002013-05-16T04:54:21.543-07:00I feel like such a failure at this thing called mo...I feel like such a failure at this thing called mothering. I lost a marriage, lost parents and feel very alone and lonely in this journey. If this was simply a job, I would have quit so long ago. It's not worth it...the talking back to, the negative attitudes toward me, lack of respect and gratitude...shoot, how about someone in this household being simply nice to me?! This is exasperating. Yes, I love my children; that's what keeps me here. But the mothering thing? Not so much. My children could thrive so much more with a different mom but they are stuck with me. The insomnia and weight gain don't help. Ok, back to sleep I go...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-71868717390390448172013-05-16T04:41:02.661-07:002013-05-16T04:41:02.661-07:00Yes, you read my mail.....thank you!Yes, you read my mail.....thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-23313885121840308952013-05-15T20:50:19.618-07:002013-05-15T20:50:19.618-07:00Please, please, please Hayley, come and send me a ...Please, please, please Hayley, come and send me a message at www.artistparent.com. People like to hide what is going on and they always say: It will get easier... but right now, it is not easy, I am an artist, I have two kids (now 1 and 3 years old) and I am doing an installation piece with messages sent to me by artists (and I consider written words to be an art). I would be honoured!<br />Pascale Ouellet from CanmoreAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-30691947261664298712013-05-15T20:40:02.335-07:002013-05-15T20:40:02.335-07:00thank you, courtney! i love hearing that this has ...thank you, courtney! i love hearing that this has helped other people understand their own emotions.hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-90561605257304528712013-05-15T19:23:19.899-07:002013-05-15T19:23:19.899-07:00Wow Hayley! You are so strong and insightful to be...Wow Hayley! You are so strong and insightful to be able to put all of this confusion and struggle down into words and share it with all of us. I teared up several times while reading this post. It takes so much courage and eloquence to get the thoughts and feelings of an exhausted human body out onto page. You really nailed it here. The constant struggle, always questioning what you are doing right and wrong, feeling like you are never the "fun parent". I am at a point in my life right now where I see a totally opposite approach to parenting than my own daily from the family we share a home with. I am always wondering to myself "should I be doing it that way?" or "Am I too tough on him?" "Will he be a brat?". I totally get what you going through, feeling like the climb is not done, the reward is not won and working harder and seeking inward are the only way to keep on. I feel buried by emotion and exhaustion each day and sometimes I relent and give in to it, I always hate myself for it because I then see how it affects my son and the boys I look after. I feel like you are writing to every mom out there, even the ones who "have an exceptional ability to genuinely find the positive in everything". I admit that I used to think I was one of those people, in fact I still sometimes am accused of being a Pollyanna, but as a full time mother and caregiver now I feel like I see the positive in only other peoples lives. I feel so discouraged at my inability to see the positive in the good things my son and I achieve daily. I try, but the negative always seems to win out. In the end I find that I am learning how much I NEED to lean on God, that I am a shell of a mom without Him to sustain me and give me the love and peace I need each day. Only in Him am I still a functioning mother right now.<br />Thank you five million times over for your honesty in communicating your inner struggle and that struggle that we all deal with. You are truly a strong and brilliant woman, noticing and admitting our weaknesses and pain is the best marker of courage and strength in us.<br />Thank you for meeting me where I am and encouraging me in my climb. <br />P.S.<br />You impress me all the time with your deep delve into material and information on ways to deal with issues in parenting and all the research you do on your baby gear. I rely heavily on others recommendations on these matters as sitting down to do the research myself is hugely overwhelming to me. Thank you for utilizing and sharing your knowledge so eloquently.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14179656758362738081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-11706163456763647222013-05-15T11:15:49.647-07:002013-05-15T11:15:49.647-07:00Thank you for writing this. I can identify with s...Thank you for writing this. I can identify with so many things in this blog, and it makes me feel great to know that I am normal and feeling like this is normal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-7393175420738874442013-05-15T10:22:11.926-07:002013-05-15T10:22:11.926-07:00thank you so much, Lori! that means a lot to me.thank you so much, Lori! that means a lot to me.hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-49455809819162420032013-05-15T08:21:38.767-07:002013-05-15T08:21:38.767-07:00I recently did the 5 weeks study called "one ...I recently did the 5 weeks study called "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp and found it a very encouraging study. Amidst the chaos in this world and my life, I was reminded time and time again that we cannot do anything on our own, we need God's help, always! One thing that stands out from this study was to 'count my blessings'...list them. Take note of the little things in life. Hayley, I can totally relate to those thoughts that you put into words! I do find strength in little reminders that amidst the darkness, there is beauty and light...and the beauty far out-weighs the darkness. One quote that Ann has in her book is this, "When Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, and work is my song of praise to Him, joy rains." Very powerful words for me, who can get very caught up in the mundane chores of life. Maybe this can applied to the whole realm of being a mom? <br />Thanks for sharing!<br />XXXXCarlenanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-4636634019106589272013-05-15T08:10:25.402-07:002013-05-15T08:10:25.402-07:00Hi Hayley, this is second attempt to write a comme...Hi Hayley, this is second attempt to write a comment. Just believe that my first was perfectly eloquent, OK?<br />Your post was so well articulated and BRAVE. Boy, I wish I had read something like this when I was in parenting my girls as little ones. You've described the stress and strain of it all perfectly - it took me right back. I remember those feelings of inadequacy all too well.<br />Now, of course, my girls are older and we have different struggles. They don't need me to help them meet the basic needs, snot-wiping and shoe-tying, but more the emotional stuff which actually confounds me at times. I get caught in the drama and it's hard to see my way out.<br />The phrase "out of the overflow" has really helped me remember God's grace and goodness in this parenting business. If my ultimate mandate is to go to God, the perfect parent with all of it and to be fed and nurtured by him, then his goodness and grace leaks out of me and into the areas of my life whether it's parenting, being a friend, wife, leading... I want to operate out of the overflow of God's grace. <br />Praying for you and me today, Hayley, and renewed sense of God's grace.<br />Love, LoreliAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-70201951612607670512013-05-15T08:05:17.201-07:002013-05-15T08:05:17.201-07:00Perfect. And I don't have the energy right now...Perfect. And I don't have the energy right now to say any more than that.JackiYohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12868111086699011657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-919053430894516092.post-29789039966309863892013-05-15T07:54:19.603-07:002013-05-15T07:54:19.603-07:00thinking about what they will remember is always o...thinking about what they will remember is always on my mind!hayleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11459191748010876691noreply@blogger.com